Eating like an A$$h01e…


So, before surgery, I called shoving my fat face full of food, “eating like an asshole”. I just kept saying, “if I could stop eating like an asshole, I’d be fine”. I LOVED food. I still love food. I get such great enjoyment out of food, as I’m sure most of you do. When you go out with friends, you eat. You HAVE to eat to live. I find that food addicts have a horrible disadvantage to other addicts. Think about it. You need food to live and you cannot get away from it. At least with other addictions (such as smoking), you do not NEED to smoke to live.

Pre-surgery, I ate whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted but of course, with every bite I took, I loathed myself more and more.   Don’t get me wrong, I did watch what I ate but I didn’t really read food labels or pay attention to the amount of carbs, protein, and sugar I put into my word-hole. My husband and I would go out for sushi and get like 6 rolls and I would end up eating the majority of them. Can we just take a second to talk about sushi? Its delicious and it is one of the foods that I miss pigging out on the most. But you eat like 50 rolls and 10 minutes later you’re hungry AF!   The rice fills you up quickly but it does not keep you full. Pizza and sweets were my biggest weakness.


Lets also talk about sugar. Scientists have found that sugar is addictive (um, duh) and stimulates the same pleasure centers of the brain as cocaine or heroin. Just like other drugs, stopping them can be darn near impossible. It leads to withdrawals, cravings, and an actual “detox” process to wean off it. This is still something that I struggle with today. I love to bake. I love the enjoyment I get making something with my hands in the kitchen. I love the enjoyment other people get by eating something that I’ve baked. And, brownies with 2 cups of sugar and 2 sticks of butter are delicious AF. I also have an addiction to lifesaver wintergreen mints. These are pretty much just pure sugar. I could literally eat an entire 1lb bag in a day if I let myself. Let me repeat that: If I let myself.

Just because I’ve had the gastric bypass does not mean that I couldn’t eat ALL DAY LONG. As long as I eat slow enough and small enough amounts, I could shove my word hole from the time I get up until the time I go to bed.   I’ve found days that I limit my sugar, I crave foods far less than when I’ve consumed too much sugar. Sugar isn’t just that delicious white stuff on top of your donut. Sugar is also another type of carbohydrate, which means they occur naturally in milk or fruit, but they are also in starchy vegetables (peas, corn <aka a waste of time>, beans, potatoes) pasta, bread, crackers, oats, barley, and rice. Ultimately, I went from eating like an asshole to eating like a diabetic.

Should we take a look at what too much sugar does to your body? According to a Washington Post survey, Americans are eating 32 teaspoons of sugar a day. A DAY!

  1. It overloads and damages your liver.
  2. It tricks your body into gaining weight and affects your insulin.
  3. It causes metabolic dysfunction
  4. It increases your uric acid levels.
  5. Fructose can directly (and indirectly) stimulate your brain causing addiction

(information from

To shake the sugar shakes, drink water and LOTS of it. Limit your alcohol consumption (I’m really sorry about that) and increase foods that contain healthy fats (avocado, free range eggs, pecans, and salmon). In short…don’t be like Linda and eat like an asshole.





2 thoughts on “Eating like an A$$h01e…

  1. I could relate to this on so many levels! I used to think I was mostly eating healthy all the time, with a “splurge” once a day, but the reality was I could barely remember when I last ate vegetables. Of course, being in Japan has meant that I eat (or ate) sushi practically every day – seaweed counts as a vegetable right? 😉

    I did a compare and contrast essay with my students, and, as happens every year, at least one student wanted to talk about the differences between bread and rice (i.e. bad vs good). Almost every Japanese will tell you that rice is very filling, whereas when they eat bread, they feel hungry ten minutes later. (!) They are always shocked when I tell them that in the West, people feel the same way about rice, and oh, that Japanese rice is the least healthy rice that you could possibly eat. (!!!!) Interestingly, now that I’m on my pre-op diet and have cut out all carbs except for a 1/2 c of berries in my smoothie, and whatever shows up in my non-starchy veggies, I don’t have cravings anymore. And although I have a constant low level hunger between meals, it’s not strong, nor do I get any growling or other problems — the benefits of a low-carb diet?

    Liked by 1 person

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