Saying, “would you like a bite?” to a food addict is like saying, “would you like a hit?” to a drug addict. Now, I have NEVER done ANY type of drug and I’m not lying when I say I’ve never even tried pot so my analogy is only speculation. I apologize if I have offended any previous drug users. I am not lying when I say that I have been and always will be a food addict. This is my FA (Food Anonymous) safe place.
I think it’s really hard for family and friends to understand what they’re really doing when they say, “Do you want a bite?” OH. EM. GEE. YES of course I want a bite! I don’t just want a bite, I want the whole damn thing. Every single time I see a Boston crème donut I die a little inside. I want an entire large pizza, I want a whole chocolate milk shake, I want every last French fry in that salty delicious box (even better if you cover them in bacon, cheese, and ranch dressing). Did you know there’s such a thing as Mac & Cheese grilled cheese? Dear sweet baby Jesus. But I can’t. Not just because I’m watching what I eat but because I know there are huge consequences. This gastric bypass thing is a slippery slope.
I don’t want to sound like some whiney bitch baby. I know I have come a LONG way and I’m finally at my goal weight but the first year-ish is called the “honeymoon” phase. This means that you don’t have to work super hard at losing weight. Now that I’ve plateaued, this is when ish gets real. I need to watch what I eat just like everyone else and I can’t shove my fat word-hole full of food or I’ll gain it all back again and that is my WORST nightmare.
I keep track of EVERY single bite with my Fitbit app. I had a run-in a few weeks back. I went to my most favorite pizza place before school to get a salad (don’t judge) and I asked how many ounces of prosciutto they put on their salad. The waitress said she would check and went in the back. A cook came out of the back and was standing a few feet away from me and the waitress popped back up. She said to the cook, “How many ounces of prosciutto are in the salad?” and he responds with “Why?”, a logical response so far. The waitress goes, “for “diet” purposes” and uses air quotes with her hands. Now, the cook does not know I am the one who wants this information. He rolls his eyes at her and I pipe in and say (in my sweetest voice possible) “Oh, I’m so sorry to be a bother but I need to keep track of my calories because of surgery” and you should have seen the look on his face!
Anyway, to get back to my point. Taking just one bite of food leads to another and then another. Friends and family probably think they are just being nice “one bite won’t kill you”. You’re probably right, that ONE bite wont but the bites that come after certainly may. My main issue with this “bite” logic is that I feel bad saying no and maybe this is just MY issue. So you say to me, “Linda, do you want a bite?” and I’ll scream in my head “YES DAMNIT!!!!” but out loud I’ll say no. When you respond with “Are you sure, come on, just take one bite” this puts me in a HUGE difficult spot. It took every fiber of my being to say NO the first time, please for the love of pizza, accept that I said no and leave it be because I really want to say yes and eat ALL of whatever you’re offering me. I am a food addict. You do not give a drug addict free range to whatever their drug of choice is…
Food is ALL around us from Facebook to Pinterest posts food porn is everywhere. But that, is a blog for another day.