I just saw a commercial for Mama Junes new reality TV show. Do you remember Mama June? She’s Honey Boo Boo’s mom. Apparently, June has transformed and they call it “From NOT to HOT”. I guess she was 351 pounds before and is down to a size four now. That is how they are spinning this trash. Oh. Em.Gee she’s a size four! WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?!?! They’re making a reality show about her getting “hot” as IF her being a size four has anything to do with her “hotness”.
And I was afraid I would run out of blogging ideas.
“What size are you?” This is such a loaded question. First of all, how does a pant or shirt size dictate how healthy you are? At my heaviest, I think I wore a size 26 pant and maybe a 2xl shirt depending on where I shopped. I remember going to Florida with a girlfriend when I was 18 and we went into a swimsuit store. The man behind the counter goes to me, “Clearly, you’re going to need a bigger top and a smaller bottom”. Why, thank you sir for pointing out my uneven body type as if I didn’t already internally shame myself for this very thing.
I’d like to start there. Why on EARTH would a company sell sets of any clothing let alone sets of bra’s and panties. I’m not sure I know anyone that would wear the same size on the top as they do on the bottom. I remember I bought one of those cute lingerie outfits and the dress/top fit but the bottoms were like 4 sizes too big. If a company is going to sell a top/bottom set, they should allow you to mix and match so you don’t have to tie your bottoms in a knot so they don’t fall down or bust out of your top until it rips.
Anyway, back to size. Size can depend on so many different things. How muscular are you? Where do you carry the majority of your weight? Are you top heavy? Are you bottom heavy? Do you have big hips or no hips at all? I have a friend, Maggie, and the girl is a damn twig but she wears like a size 6 because she has hips. Now me, I am apparently shaped like a boy and I have no hips at all so I was a size 2 before my panniculectomy. I’ m not sure what size I am now just because I’m swollen and I’m only wearing leggings and jogging pants. What is the difference between Maggie and myself? Is she really four sizes BIGGER than me? Um, no. Is she fat because she’s a six and not a two or a zero? No. No. No. Maggie’s body looks a hell of a lot better in a six than mine ever will in a two. Mama June is a size four now. She must be HOT.
I remember when I was a big girl I loved to shop at Lane Bryant. I have always thought their models were so beautiful. I always wished that I could be heavy and look like them with a flat tummy and beautiful perky boobs. P.S. I have NO boobs now. I had a reduction back in 2003 because I was a DD. Now, my boobs resemble a balloon after the air has been let out. I digress. Those Lane Bryant models would wear those clothes and look amazing! I would put them on and look frumpy and horrible. AND, why do I have to try on 14 different pairs of GOD DAMN JEANS just to find one pair that fits right? Do I want low rise, mid rise, or high-rise? Do you want straight leg, legging, boot cut, flare. Oh. My. God. Just give me a damn pair of jeans. And this doesn’t get ANY easier when you’re a two or a twenty-two!! When you lose weight, your fat shifts from one place to another. One day I could wear mid-rise and the next I had to wear high-rise or vice-versa. The sizes and shapes change depending on which store you’re shopping at too. Don’t even get me started on underpants. Dear sweet baby Jesus.
Where was I going with this? Oh yeah, pants size. My mom brought a pair of jeans over one day and wanted me to try them on. When they didn’t fit she sort of freaked out on me “you’re smaller than I am!!” like I offended her jeans, “but they’re Silvers” she says…Oh, ok. I had to explain to her that while we may have weighed roughly the same at the time, she carried her fat in a different place than I did. My mom has twig branches for legs and for me, “You have your Aunt Linda’s legs”…as I’ve been told my whole life. What does that even mean?? Apparently, they are not twigs. So while the jeans were too big for my mom, I couldn’t get them over my tree trunk legs and over my luscious booty (that’s gone too).
Women, and even men, spend so much time worrying about what size they are as if this secret number hidden within their butts is going to make a difference in their lives. I found this article that shows two women side by side who both weigh the same but their body types are completely different. This is eye opening because SO much goes in to what size you wear. Are you short? Are you tall? Is your torso longer than your legs? Here is another article of a girl that shows her body at three different weights.
My point is this. Please, for the love of potato chips, do not compare yourself to other people when it comes to the size of your pants. Your main concern should be your health. Can you breathe when you walk up a flight of stairs? Is your blood pressure under control? Will you be the first one to go if zombies attack us? These things are what are important. Don’t compare yourself to the Lane Bryant models or especially to the Victoria Secret models. Those photos are photo shopped anyways. Don’t even compare yourself to your friends or family.