Random like the thoughts in my head…

Random thought #1:

So I’m taking this fitness and wellness course for school. It is required for graduation and its SUPER condensed for the summer. We had to read the entire book, take 10 quizes, 4 tests, a boatload of discussion questions, and 4 fitness evaluations. One of the discussion questions was, “Why do you eat?” and I about fell to the floor laughing. Everyone was writing, “I eat because my body needs the fuel” and “I eat because I’m hungry”. What the hell does hunger have to do with eating?! The teacher also asked why we STOP eating and I laughed even harder at that question! One girl wrote, “I stop eating when I’m full” and another wrote, “I stop eating when I know I’ve consumed enough food for optimal fueling”. Are you kidding me?! Who are these people? Please tell me they are just trying to get an A… And here comes Linda, “I eat because I LOVE food, I eat because there is food in front of me, I eat because food tastes good, I eat because food makes me feel good, I eat because I cant stop eating, I eat because there is nothing else better to do, I eat because Im a FOOD ADDICT!!! Why do I stop eating? Because I will literally throw up if I place one more bite of food in my mouth. I know this because I’ve tried.

This class is such a joke. I just cant even.57248909

Random thought #2:

I remember I was in the bathroom at work today and I thought about something great that I wanted to blog about and I didn’t write it down (because I don’t carry a pen and paper with me to the Ladies room) and now I cant remember what it was…I need one of those court room stenographers with me at all times. Insert SUPER inappropriate SNL bit here: 39FDYjR

(Don’t get mad at me about the midget stenographer. It was not MY idea, I just stole it from SNL. Its funny. Calm down. I know Jamie is laughing right now)

Random thought #3:

My pants fit a bit tighter now than they did before. I haven’t weighed myself in a really long time but Im sure I haven’t gained weight. I think my booty is making my pants fit differently around my hips. My skin isn’t as loose around my tummy area anymore so my enlarged booty can be the only logical explanation.

Random thought #4:

We are going to Vegas on Thursday simply for funsies. I bought my very first bikini and I’m totes excited and totes nervous all at the same time! See, I still have the little area on my hips that I juts cant seem to get rid of…I suppose you could call them love handles…those little pockets of fat that wont go away no matter how hard you try. I have two feelings about my bikini:

  1. Who gives a EFF about what other people think of my body and my tiny little Swiss cake roll overs my hips. And
  2. Maybe other women out there will be like, “YAAAASSSS, rock that Bikini GUURL”… I don’t know.  200_s

 

Stay tuned for a blog post-Vegas on “How to not eat like an Asshole while on vacation”. I’m hoping I can live up to my own expectations and not eat like an asshole while on vacation.

Random thought #5:

Last but not least…be smarter than the crap put on the internet folks…especially Facebook. A girlfriend posted a bunch of memes that were super funny about dihydrogen monoxide. Here is an example:

DHMO1-300x300

 

Why is this so funny? Because people are getting ALL bent out of shape over H20!

Lets see what the HORRIBLE effects of this chemical are:

  • may cause severe burns
  • may cause electrical failures
  • major component of acid rain
  • Used as an additive in certain junk foods, sodas, juices, and other food products

OH NO!!!!! Don’t be stupid people. Do your research. Don’t get all uptight over water.

colonel-sanders-water-boy-something-wrong-with-your-medulla-oblongata

 

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